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Trust is a thing of the past - Hello me...
November 22nd, 2009
03:12 pm


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Trust is a thing of the past
It seems I only post to this thing anymore when something is bothering me.
.... go figure.

So here'goes. I think the number of people I know that are genuinely honest, and actual friends of mine are dwindling. Everybody in Alaska except for a few of my cousins have turned into complete douches. All of them are liars, and half are druggies. And even the people I thought I knew out of state, and online have been providing me with more and more reasons not to trust them. And less reason for me to believe I know them at all.
Now don't take this personally. There are a hand-full of online friends (and I'm sure you know who you are) That have always been awesome to me. And I'm glad to have each and every one of you.
However, there are also those that I believe hide behind the computer screen. The ones that throw up false feelings and even false lives. It's sad, actually. When you try to put your full trust in somebody, knowing that they are your friend. Then finding out little by little that most, if not all of what they tell you is bullshit. Prolly my fault in the first place for wanting to believe that everyone would be so straight forward.
I personally try to make a point of being completely, and even brutally honest with people. Sure I piss a lot of people off, and make less friends because of it. But those that do become friends, I assume is because they are similar... or for some crazy reason enjoy me for who I am. If I don't tell somebody outright what I am thinking or believe, it's usually in an attempt to spare them from my psychosis. But if asked... about anything. I don't hesitate to answer with the truth.

I dunno. Sometimes I wish I could just believe the lie... or make it reality. Sometimes it's a bummer not knowing who your friends are. Hmph.

[Aside from that mess. News and whatnot.]
My possible future job with the Operators union is looking good. I am almost positive that they are going to accept me now. I went in for my interview finally and it went swimmingly. The head honcho's of the Union seemed to take my honesty in a good way. Only, the school won't be starting until March of 2010. *Sigh*
Luckily, This won't be too much of a problem. I have been talking to a guy that works on the north slope... and I will be going up to run a Cat-Train with him in late Dec/early Jan. Hopefully sooner rather than later. For this job, the shifts are usually in 6 week increments. I would like to get two hitches in before the Apprenticeship begins. mainly because the first period of schooling is unpaid. The only bummer of this whole mess is that the cat-train job will be in such a remote location, that I won't even be able to use a Cell phone. Completely out of touch for the 6 weeks I'm working. the good news is, even if I only work for 6 weeks I should make between $10-12K. It'll be nice making real money again.

Later, y'all. X3

Current Location: Wasilla, AK
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: Predator theme music

(6 comments | Leave a comment)

[User Picture]
Date:November 23rd, 2009 08:28 pm (UTC)
Buh. People suck.
I've had my fair share of cheaters and lying fags out there and its a shame that they can throw a good friend away. You're awesome. And it's their loss.
*paunches those foolz.*
[User Picture]
Date:November 23rd, 2009 11:16 pm (UTC)
Fuck those fuckers.
I know the group that I can count on my left hand that are real homies. X3 The rest can eat a turd. It'd sure beat the shit that rolls outta their mouth on a regular basis.
Date:November 23rd, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
I actually love the fact that your so blunt ;p
I ate others who seem so high and mighty were they cant see from my point of view at all.

To be honest the only friend I have is my bf.. and its weird he tells me every single thing that has happened to him.... even stuff that should've been reported... well at least to help him cope with it.

I consider you a good friend to be honest and I'm will to help or even chat to you for comfort. No worries hon I'm way to blunt of a person to lie lol
[User Picture]
Date:November 23rd, 2009 11:37 pm (UTC)
I think that's why I feel so comfortable calling you a friend already. Even though we don't talk all that much, I feel you're on the same wave-length as me.

And some of the things you've said and done in the past showed me that you've had to deal with a lot of the same shit.
[User Picture]
Date:November 24th, 2009 12:53 am (UTC)
Hells yes! When I need a truly honest answer, Ive gone to you before and while you HAVE pissed me off in the past, Im still here, ya ass! XD Trust is very hard for me and recently, I said BYE BYE to someone that I thought would be my friend forever. I should have seen it coming.
[User Picture]
Date:November 24th, 2009 02:59 am (UTC)
That's what I keep running into. Even my cousin Ray (you remember him, right?)
He went and turned into a person I don't even know anymore. Then he comes around me, and acts the same as he always did. it's confusing.
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